How am I doing with this? This past month was hard. Not so much, I believe, because of the gray hair, but because of my face. I have a condition called rosacea, and it’s been bad for three weeks. Finally, as you can see in the picture, I think it’s under control.
I am using this cream, Sudocrem, with good results. It’s a white cream, similar to what we use for our babies when they get diaper rush, lol. We found this cream first in Europe, and it’s for sale in the States, but it must be from Europe (it says ‘nappy rash’). Apparently the components help with rosacea too. Apart from my face being red, and full of small pimples, it burns and itches. It’s uncomfortable, and it makes me feel down when it’s very bad like it’s been. So, the gray hair demarcation in my hair didn’t help. But I still try to be sportive about this, dress up when I go to places (with friends, church, co-op, just out), and many days I still feel good.
I also bought Shimmer Lights Shampoo, which is supposed to enhance the white in your hair, and take away the brassiness. I did not notice a huge difference, but I liked that it did not make a lot of foam, and my hair felt clean and nice. Since my hair is curly, I wash it with conditioner. It may sound strange, or even idiotic, to those without curly hair, but, for some reason, the foam of the shampoos dries up our curly hair, and breaks up the curly structure of the hair.
My hair is at a strange phase, though. Even though it’s not as frizzy as it’s always been, or as fried and flat color looking as before, the new gray hair feels soft to the touch, yet it looks coarse. My face is framed by four different tonalities, my skin doesn’t settle, and looks red or too pale depending on where my rosacea is that day. All I want, (I say to myself), it’s to have all my hair the way it is. At the same time, I remember that it’ll take me at least, 15 months (or longer) to get to that point, and I’ll be older when this process ends. I awake to the need to enjoy this time as well, it’ll be the unique time when I was going through this transition.
When I do my hair in a pony tail, I already see just the natural hair, no color, and that’s something I love. I think it softens my facial features. I don’t see any dreaded ‘roots’ anymore, and it gives me more light. After all, my salt and peppered hair has a natural light to it that I love. I want to see more of it, and I want that ‘now’, ha ha ha. Back to the other thought, I’m going to enjoy every month of this journey.
A week ago, I finished reading this book, Intuitive Eating. My friend Karla recommended me this book. I don’t usually read self help books of any kind. I don’t recall reading any eating book. I never diet. I think in my whole life, I may have done some conscious specific effort not to eat some things, or to eat others, a handful of times. But I recognized myself thinking many erroneous thoughts and ideas about food and eating that the book exposes. I also recognized many of my lifetime positive convictions that the authors defend, practices and conclusions which they backed with many years of experience and many clients under they care, people now on their way to good intuitive eating.
I won’t say anymore other than READ IT. It helped me, not just with eating, but with other areas of life. Our culture sends us a very negative message about food and eating. There’s a lot of confusion, we all have our own ideas, but these two ladies can help us all to reclaim the intuitive eating paradigm we are all capable of developing (if we have lost it), or strengthening (if we already recognize ourselves as intuitive eaters), and thus become at peace with our bodies and ourselves.
This is all for now.
I hope you all have a nice Valentine’s day tomorrow!