April Blogging Challenge 2015

April 21st, Gratitude

Gratitude.

I lost a long comment, and I decided to write a post instead.

Gratitude is what overflows my heart.

I write about inspiration, about renewing my heart with godliness, love, and looking up at Him, Lord of lords, and my friends take that invitation and send it back to me tenfold.

Karen takes my aspiration this year to be renewed in my Scripture readings, and ties it all with schedules and life, and what to do in the middle of all this noise, and the speed of life that seems to escape our  desire to control it all, to come up on top and look good in the process.

Another Karen takes my rambles and attempts to schedule better, to reflect upon where we are going and make a written commitment that allows us to grow, breath, and move at a realistic yet challenging pace in our lessons, and she inspires me back with her thoughts and expressions of gratitude, she motivates me to take my own advice and remember to keep things simple.

Jeanne comes to my immediate call of despair, and makes herself 100 percent available for whatever is needed on my side. She reminds me that “life shall be pleasant”, and to “accept my girls’ quirks, and meet them where they are”. She reassures me I can have a good schedule, and offers herself to help me plan for next year.

This year is different. It’s critical. Crisis are not bad if you are willing to submit and recognize you cannot, a) go on like this, b) get out of this by yourself.

I was just living, and reading, and planning (or not much), and now I am just starting to glimpse at this from a new perspective. Not totally new (I’ve always known this in theory), but new to me.

All I’m saying it’s that I am committed (through prayer, through introspection), to just live my life day by day, moment by moment. Yes, I look at the whole picture, sure I do, but I am surely working at this atmosphere aspect of education and life. Before, I kept my ideals in my head, we started the week relatively fine, until my daughters kept distancing from my ideal of what they should do, where we should be, etc. Then I snapped, I started with accusations and reproaches, and manipulations… I’m tired of that, and it’s time I acknowledge it has been my fault for believing things are in my hands, and my girls’ souls belong to me.

I know I can. And I ought, no doubt. I surely will! The great of all this change is that I don’t have to be perfect. I have always said sorry, but now my sorry is meant. I have brought my girls (specially my oldest), on board. She knows how to tell me when the beast in me is creeping, :), when the wrong thoughts are about to surface in wrong doings. And the more you let go, the more you invite Him, the easier and more beautiful your life becomes.

I have lots of plans and projects, as you could see in my past post, but they are not burdens, they don’t have to happen perfectly, they are my life, and they will be accomplished as He desires, and IF He so desires.

As a result of this crisis in our lessons, I’m mindful and always correcting the way I address my daughters. I’m committed to stop my habitual tendency to use manipulation while at lessons, to remember they are persons.

To all of you, friends, thanks for making me aware and desiring to be a better person each day.

7 thoughts on “April 21st, Gratitude”

  1. Oh, my dear, I am so very grateful to you. I am grateful for the inspiration and smiles and tears of joy you bring to my life. I am so thankful to be traveling this home educating road with you.

    Sherry

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  2. I've been thinking about the power of gratitude lately. True story! I've been just thanking God so much for the necessities in life, like running water, a pillow to lay my head on, food in our cupboards. Recently the power in our small township was out for over 25 hours. Even though we enjoyed the adventure of candles and quietness, I must admit I was very thankful for the electricity when it came back on. We're all on a learning curve, and isn't it wonderful how God places amazing people around us to help sharpen our learning. One of my favourite scriptures is 'As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.' – Proverbs 27:17 How true. xo

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  3. Silvia, your post brought tears to my eyes. We have inspired and encouraged one another! What a blessing! I so appreciate your honesty and transparency and being willing to share with us all about your ups and downs with homeschooling. You said: “Before, I kept my ideals in my head, we started the week relatively fine, until my daughters kept distancing from my ideal of what they should do, where we should be, etc.” I think you are not alone in having ideals but then realizing that sometimes the ideals we might have may not play out like we think or hope they will. So we see what needs to be changed. We have to learn to let go sometimes and take hold of the reality of our every day. That's not always easy. But like you said, when we learn to let go…when we rest in the fact that God is in control….the more beautiful life can become. And more joyful and peaceful, don't you think?

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  4. Oh Silvia! I leave so many comments on your blog and I can never get them to go through! I hope this one works.

    Now I can't remember all the long comment which disappeared into the never lands, so I'll just say I appreciated this post. 🙂 And I'm right there with you in that tension between resting with my children's hearts and guiding them along. How easy it is for me to substitute a schedule or an ideal for my children, and how easy to swing back the other way in reaction and toss out the schedule from guilt. There's that sweet spot in the middle and when we land in it, it's so, so good.

    Oh! I remember what the first comment tried to say–just that I see you all over the internet in blogs and FB and forums, and you are always encouraging, always speaking toward life. You are a blessing, Silvia. I feel grateful to “know” you. 🙂

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  5. Harmony… I am so grateful this comment made it through. I feel the same encouragement and honest uplifting conversation when I visit your blog, and even when I don't write in it every time, I always read your words and talk with you in my head, 🙂
    May God help us all, homeschooling moms, to guide our children to the ideals and reasonable scheduled goals, with a clean purpose, with godly wisdom, and not loosing them in the process.
    I will write that post, because atmosphere/discipline is an ever working on combo for me, and both make up much of our life in return. I will write about how the children are born persons play out in our daily interaction during lessons, in the way we guide them (and in truth, in life, period, lol).

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